This week I realized something. I kind of knew this about myself, but it never seemed so clear as it does now. Suppose you have a friend who says mean things to you all the time or forgets to meet you or is perpetually really, really late. Most people would think to themselves, "wow, this person is not very considerate." and maybe they'd even go so far as to think "I don't want to be friends with them anymore."
Not me. I think things like "I wonder what I did to piss them off." or "they must not like me very much." and then I feel sad about how lame I am instead of realizing it's not me, it's them! Seriously. I finally realize this. I do this in all sorts of relationships. For example, if the check out person at the grocery store forgets to give me the discount and I ask them to apply it and they have to re-ring up the whole thing and are annoyed, I think "geez, it was only $2, I shouldn't be wasting their time." WTF? It is their job. So what if they are annoyed. Not my problem.
Now, I just need to figure out how to apply this handy knowledge in real time instead of realizing after the fact that I have crappy friends, rude salespeople, psychotic managers, etc. I need to start saying (if only in my head) "No, It's You!"