In NOLA I partied like I haven't partied since I was a young, single girl living in Boston. Which as a side note is a great place to party. But after getting pretty drunk again last night, I have to ask myself "what the hell am I thinking?" I am not 22 anymore and thank god for that. So why am I running around like I am?
I fear this will require much pondering since as far as I can tell this is the happiest I've ever been in my life. Now, given that I have been quite miserable at times, one could say this isn't really saying much. However, I actually feel pretty damn happy these days. I do have an extreme fear of getting old. Just the thought of turning 35 gives me a distinct bad taste in my mouth. Yeah, go ahead and laugh at me. I seriously do not want to get old. Jeff told me the other day that he read some article that people over 80 said they'd trade 2 years of life over 80 for like 1 day (or a week or something) of being young and healthy. If that doesn't scare the crap out of you, I don't know what will.
Anyway, I am going to discuss this with my therapist and I'll get back to you. But in the meantime, I'm taking a vow to stop drinking my friends under the table.