Best Thanksgiving in 10 years!

Thanksgiving was great. We drove down to my cousin's (once removed but whatever) house near Vancouver, WA. The drive was a bit sketchy since there was a lot of traffic. But Jeff kept his cool and the kids didn't freak out. This was the first trip we've taken with Kiera where she didn't scream for a good part of it. In fact, she's getting to be a very pleasant travelling companion.

Anyway, we had dinner with my mom's aunt (my grandfather's sister) and all of her kids and their families. They are all fun, nice people and great cooks too! One of the relatives I hadn't seen since we lived in Boston. He taught Jeff and me to x-country ski in New Hampshire about 10 years ago. So, it was fun to catch up. The food was so good. I ate too much but it was good.

After sobering up with some tea, we drove the rest of the way to Portland and stayed at the Crowne Plaza. We had 2 connecting rooms, which was great! The kids had a blast. We had to take Bob swimming right away even though it was late. They both passed out pretty quickly and Jeff and I ate popcorn and candy in bed while watching a movie. Now Jeff wants a flat screen HDTV in our bedroom. Hmmmmm.

Friday morning we got up (kids slept until 7:30!!!) and went out to breakfast at Zell's. OMG, so yummy. I had egg benedict which was great. The kids had pancakes. I tried to talk them into the pumpkin pancakes but they didn't go for it. They give you scones when you first get there, which were more like biscuits but very tastey. The best part was they brought out a basket of toys when we first got there which kept the kids entertained. And the tea came in a GIANT teapot. Usually, you get one little tea bag and a cup of tea, so that was cool.

Then we went to Powell's. I could live there. I didn't even go into the fiction section because I knew I'd never get out. The place is huge! I think it takes up a whole city block. I bought some cookbooks and the kids got some books to read in the car.

Then they watched Diego all the way home. We stopped at my friend's hotel in Olympia. She let us swim in the pool for a break and then we went out to dinner at a Osaka. Both kids were very adventurous. Bob ate a lot of unagi and Kiera tried pretty much everything at the table. They finished up with some mochi. Yum!

I'm a pathetic mess

God, I'm a mess. So I talked on the phone for about an hour with my friend from my previous story. When I got off the phone, I burst into tears and cried for almost an hour. It was the weirdest thing because the whole thing still felt so visceral. It was like it happened yesterday instead of 15 years ago! How can I still be upset about something that I can barely remember the exact details of what happened? But it FEELS so raw. And I was thinking about it and I don't think I ever cried about it then. Not once. Not one little, itsy, bitsy tear. How is that even possible? Well, more fodder for therapy, I guess.

I think we're going to pull the plug on the remodel

Well, the bid finally came back. It is over our budget. We agreed before that we wouldn't do it unless it was under. I'm disappointed and relieved all at the same time. It makes me super nervous in this economy to be picking up new debt. Plus, I don't want all our extra cash to be going towards paying this stupid room off for years to come. I think we'll still do some of the interior work, like get some heat upstairs! It is getting really cold up there now. Maybe in another year we'll either have saved up some more money or the market will have rebounded enough that we'll have some cash again.

Can a girl get some sleep?!

OK, so I know they say you don't get much sleep after kids, but it has been almost 3.5 years and I still can't rely on a good night's sleep. That is all I want in life. To go to bed every night and sleep for 8 straight hours. No interuptions, no crying babies, no toddlers standing next to my head saying, "I want to watch TV" at 3am, no husbands talking in their sleep, no bad dreams, nothing. I want to fall asleep into deep, black, obliviousness and wake up exactly 8 hours later feeling like a human being. Is that so much to ask?

Feeling like Margaret

So, I've realized recently that I actually feel like myself again. I think there is something that happens when you have kids that warps your brain. For the longest time I was Mommy, Wife, and I went to work, but somehow my Margaretness was missing. I'm not really sure where it went but I think since I got pregnant with Bob my personality was taken over by complex hormones. The person I was for 28 years seemed to vanish into the soft, squishy body of a mom who only thinks about healthy meals, milk, and diapers.

My worst break-up ever

I bet you think I'm going to tell you a long sob story about some guy I was madly in love with who broke my heart and turned me into a pathetic mess. But no, it wasn't a guy, it was a girl. My very best friend ever. She and I met when we were 15 years old and became best friends. We were best friends in the way that only teenage girls can be. We spent all of our time together, discussed everything we ever thought about for hours on end. If we didn't actually see each other one day, then we would talk on the phone multiple times. Every single aspect of our lives had to be shared with all the gory details. This went on for years, all through college where we lived in an appartment together our senior year.

And then the most cliche thing ever happened, a boy came between us. I was dating this guy (although, I think date is perhaps too strong of a word) and I did not expect him to be faithful but I certainly did not expect what happened. My best friend slept with him and then neither of them bothered to tell me about it for a week. A week that he and I spent together back east. And then she calls to tell me the details and he sits there watching me have this phone conversation with this little smirk on his face knowing the whole time what she is telling me. Oh, but it gets better. He decides he really likes her better. She is upset that he didn't tell me and then we ended up in the bizzaro love triangle where he and I were both in love with her but she wouldn't give us the time of day. I contributed to this situation by being a complete bitch to her. I just couldn't help myself. I tried to make it not matter. I tried to tell myself that he was a total asshole and didn't matter at all and that she and I'd been best friends forever and we'd get over it. But the more I tried to pretend I wasn't completely distraught, the more I would say horrible snide mean things to her at every opportunity. That whole year after was easily the worst year of my life.

I've spent years wondering what I did to her that made her want to do that to me. My therapist suggested that perhaps I didn't do anything. Perhaps it really had nothing to do with me. But still to this day, I feel like I somehow deserved it.

Eyebrow waxing hurts and mustaches

I got my first eyebrow wax ever yesterday. And I swear someone told me it doesn't really hurt. Lying Bastard! I wax my legs all the time and damn that hurt, but not as much as waxing off my mustache. Speaking of which, as I'm showing off my hairlessness to my adoring husband last night, he says "yeah, I'd noticed you were getting a lot of dark hair there." Thanks for telling me now, buddy! Newsflash: That's your freakin job! I know it wasn't in the wedding vows, but it was implied. To have and to hold, for better, for worse, and to tell me when the hair on my lip is getting out of control. Jeez. I tell you when your ear and nose hairs are getting a bit too much. I let you know that yes, you are too fat for those pants and no, those shoes don't go with that outfit. Not that you usually listen, but still.

Now I'm going to go stroke my smooth skin some more.

The "People I am wondering about" series

aka What the hell happened to you?

I decided I would start a new series called "People I am wondering about" because I often find myself wondering about various people I have known at various times. If you happen to have information on these people or happen to be one of these people, please notify me immediately as I waste an inordinate amount of time on this kind of crap.

So, my first entry will be on Julie. Julie Nichols and I met at Woods Hole where we shared a house one summer in 1995 and ate a lot of oreos, drank, danced, went skinny dipping and generally had a lot of fun. Then Julie went off to Columbia and I was conveniently living in Boston so I would drive down to NYC and party away the weekends. Julie is a super nice, fun, funny girl and I miss her. We somehow drifted apart around the time I started dating Jeff. Sadly, I cannot find her anymore.

This also brings me to another question I have, which is this. Why isn't everyone on facebook, myspace or something? Are you living under a rock?

Mommyhood is awesome

I have to say some days I am just so happy to be a mom. Every single day my kids do something that makes me laugh or smile. This morning Kiera was being so funny. She woke up all happy and when I went to get her out of her crib, she had to bring all her blankies with her. She's up to four now. I said to her "You have a lot of blankies" and she said "Yeah, I do!"

And then I put on Diego for her because that is what she wanted to watch and when it came on she squealed with joy and clapped her hands. I can't remember the last time I was that excited about anything.

Both the kids are so happy and joyful that it makes me happy and joyful. Jeff and I agree that having kids is the best thing we ever did.

Update on the remodel

If you have been faithfully following along, we are still going forward with the remodel despite the state of the economy. We sorted out all the details with the contractor and architect and are now waiting on a final bid. Keep your fingers crossed that it will be inside the budget. We've already made some cuts and I'm not sure where else we could drop a few thousand if we had to.

the holidays and family

Holidays are never fun as a grown up. Well, maybe some people enjoy them but it seems like most of us spend the time dreading dealing with our family members, putting up with family members and then recovering from and rehashing hanging out with family members. For me, it is generally my sister and I who cannot seem to get along when it comes to the holidays. Not really sure why. I used to love Thanksgiving and Christmas. We always had a lot of people over, my mom went overboard decorating the house and I loved how everyone was happy and festive. Now it seems like no one is happy or festive and I just generally get annoyed with everyone.

So, my plan this year is to get away and see if we can be festive. We are all (mom, dad, sister and fam, and us) heading down to my mom's cousin's for turkey. Then Jeff, the kids and I will check out Portland. I'm looking forward to that since I've driven through many times but never bothered to stop. For xmas, we're off to Mazama where we are going to play in the snow, ski and generally have a groovy time. My parents are coming but they'd better be festive and fun (see above) and babysit the kids a bit so Jeff and I can have some time with each other. That would be novel.

I will definitely be missing my grandfather a lot over the holidays. His personality always made any gathering a party. He always cooked or helped my mom cook the big family dinners. I can't remember any holiday party that was any fun when he wasn't there. Hopefully, he can still be there in spirit.