it's not me, it's you

This week I realized something. I kind of knew this about myself, but it never seemed so clear as it does now. Suppose you have a friend who says mean things to you all the time or forgets to meet you or is perpetually really, really late. Most people would think to themselves, "wow, this person is not very considerate." and maybe they'd even go so far as to think "I don't want to be friends with them anymore."

Not me. I think things like "I wonder what I did to piss them off." or "they must not like me very much." and then I feel sad about how lame I am instead of realizing it's not me, it's them! Seriously. I finally realize this. I do this in all sorts of relationships. For example, if the check out person at the grocery store forgets to give me the discount and I ask them to apply it and they have to re-ring up the whole thing and are annoyed, I think "geez, it was only $2, I shouldn't be wasting their time." WTF? It is their job. So what if they are annoyed. Not my problem.

Now, I just need to figure out how to apply this handy knowledge in real time instead of realizing after the fact that I have crappy friends, rude salespeople, psychotic managers, etc. I need to start saying (if only in my head) "No, It's You!"

Summer is never coming

So, it is now the first day of July and still summer has not hit Seattle. It is 58 and raining today. 58! On July 1!!! This is very, very wrong people. Especially since last year I was complaining about the heat wave. I bet this year I won't even get to break out the air conditioner.

In other news, life seems to be going much better. Jeff is being awfully nice these days which makes me happy to be married to him. We found a new babysitter and are now going out once a week. We are actually having a lot of fun together and it makes me remember why I married him in the first place.

Work is going well. I think it should be another good review in September. And as we all get shuffled around, looks like I'm going to be writing my own job description. So, I'll get to do exactly what I want to! How cool is that? Also, my friend Cheryl and I recently got back from Tech Ed in New Orleans. We had entirely too much fun. Lots and lots of guys (most of them not that attractive though).

And while I'm on the subject, what is up with all the married guys hitting on married women? I mean, yes everyone was drinking too much, but still. Is this really what is happening out in the real world and I've just been oblivious? Guess I'm just an old-fashioned kind of girl to be shocked by this. However, it is nice to know that if my husband drops dead or something, I'll have lots of options still.

Of course, it is almost the middle of summer, marked by my beautiful, baby boy's birthday. He'll be FIVE this year. I cannot believe that a) he's gotten so big and b) it has happened so fast. But at the same time I can hardly remember what life was like before he arrived! He's already riding a bike, learning to read and just generally making every day awesome.

I'm hoping 2010 will continue to rock so here's hoping we get some sun someday soon.

Twilight fans are crazy

So, I went to Forks, WA this weekend which is apparently vampire central since the release of the book Twilight. And that in the middle of nowhere town is now all Twilight-ed out. It is Twilight this, Bella that, Edward over here. And I don't even know who these people are. What is more how did a teeny-bopper vampire love story become so popular that thousands of people (yes, that is right, THOUSANDS) are heading out to Forks for vacation in order to take the Twilight tour. WTF?

And as an aside, I don't even get the whole vampire love thing. What is hot about that? Oooh, you want to sink your big scary fangs into my neck and suck my blood out? That turns me on baby! Ooooh, your pastey white skin is so sexy. Mmmmm. Whatever, vampires are fuckin scary as hell. I'm probably scarred for life from being allowed to watch Salam's Lot when I was like 8. I wouldn't look at a window at night for years after that.

This is why dieting is wrong

Ok, so generally speaking I don't diet. Generally speaking, I don't like to be one of those girls that sits around talking about her weight and what she ate today. But that was back in the day when I could drop 5 lbs by going for a run a couple times a week for a few weeks. Now, I've got all this "baby weight" stuck to my middle like glue and no amount of exercise seems to shake it. My personal trainer recommended that I eat about 1400 calories a day. 1400! I said to her "that doesn't sound like enough food to sustain life" and she said "you'll be fine." But here's the thing. I'm not fine! I'm freakin HUNGRY! Ok, most of the time I am fine. It is actually really good because I'm eating WAY more fruits and veggies than before (mostly because they tend to be almost calorie free and did I mention that I'm hungry?) and just in general making better choices about my diet. But I really hate being hungry at 8pm and really wanting something like say cheese and crackers and feeling like I can't eat it. Last night, I broke down and ate some cookies. I don't consider dessert off the menu entirely, in fact, the Skinny Cow ice cream novelties are pretty tastey. But I am trying to limit it to a couple times a week, instead of daily, multiple times daily, etc. And lest you think I should have just cut out the dessert and kept eating everything else, I already tried that! Ok, back to not eating.

Bears in my neighborhood??!

That's right folks. Apparently the other night a black bear was running loose and was spotted only 2 blocks from where we live! Holy crap!

Here's more info, if you are interested.
Seattle Times article
A map tracking the bear!

Ode to Myself

Oh, I am so Margaret-y
No matter how I try
I can only be me
Even when it makes me cry

I know I do not tolerate
those who cannot speak their mind
and while we wait and wait and wait
still they seem so blind

I endeaver to be sweeter
but my tongue is too tart
the words I cannot meter
for they come straight from the heart

Remodeling Sucks!

Ok, so after all this time waiting to do the remodel, now I hate it. I want it over and done with. I almost wish we'd never done it, except for the fact that it is going to be awesome when it is done. The house is so dirty, dusty and disgusting. Bleck. What is it with the contractors that they can't seem to keep things moving without regular phone calls reminding them that "hey! you should be at my house putting it back together!" fuckers.

Anyway, if Jeff and I don't get divorced or kill each other by the time the next 2 weeks is over, we should be good for the rest of time.

And random aside for the day. Some dude in the elevator commented on my purse. I figure he is either
a. Gay
b. Hitting on me
c. a Freak
I'd like to think b since he was kinda cute in a dorky sort of way but I suspect a or c due to my luck with men over time.

Also, it's my baby's birthday and if you want to hear her birth story I'm happy to tell it again for the 500th time!!! I never get tired of thinking about it. :)

Bah

I don't know what to blog about lately. There is just too much crap going on. You might think to yourself, how can that be a problem, then you should just blog more! But no, in my mind it presents the problem of figuring out what the most interesting/important thing is and then putting that up but since I can't even concentrate long enough to hold onto a thought, I just can't figure it out. So here is stream of conciousness.

Things suck right now because Jeff has been a cranky bitch lately and I'm tired of being around him, the house is a disgusting, dirty, ripped up mess due to construction, I can't cook because the kitchen is always a mess, I can barely stand to be at home and it isn't even relaxing to be there, work is super stressful, it is cold and rainy outside when i just want some freakin sun, i'm obsessing about things in the past which I'm sure has something to do with stuff going on now but I haven't been to therapy in a couple weeks so I haven't had a chance to get this off my mind, I'm not sleeping well due to all sort of reasons including being repeatedly woken up by the kids, the in-laws come next week which will probably make jeff even more cranky and I'm just not sure i can handle that right now. Sheesh.

On the bright side, we went to Palm Springs and it was fun. Running is going ok, my knees are hanging in there but still a bit twingy. And the space we are opening up in the house looks like it will be awesome when it is done. AND I get to go to NY in a couple weeks ALL BY MYSELF!

Batshit crazy

This is my new favorite phrase. I don't actually use it out loud that much since it isn't very appropriate at work or in front of the kids. How embarrassed would I be if they started running around saying things were BSC? I mean, yeah, its funny, but then I look like the asshole mom. Anyway, I don't actually say it much, but I think it a lot. Like "this economy is BSC" or "I'm going BSC" or "dude, that is a BSC idea." Also, it has turned up in songs and stuff like that recently, so I feel one with it. I tried to look up the etymology of the saying but the best I could do was illness brought on by bat guano, which I really doubt is correct.

Facebook dilemma

Ok, so over my time using FB, I have made some bad friending decisions, many of them initiated by me. You know, you see someone you used to know, think, gee it would be fun to see what they are up to, exchange a few wall posts, etc. But then, you become friended and realize that they have no desire to catch up at all. The only reason they accept the friend request is so that they aren't considered rude. So, now you are "friends" with someone that you no longer want to be friends with. But wouldn't it be the height of rudeness to de-friend someone who you requested friendship from? They need another category. Something like "Slightly Friendly" "Just Curious" "Ok, but I don't really like you". You can see their profile for one week to satisfy your curiosity and then they go back to no mans land. Facebook sucks, it has created all sorts of issues that I never had before. If only I weren't addicted to it.

Refinancing, Running and Seether

Ok, so we finally refinanced. Can't remembered if I mentioned I was spending entirely too much time filling out paperwork, collecting paystubs, w-2s, etc and watching the mortgage rates bounce all over the place hoping they'd return to the lowest of the low. We finally decided to lock last week and snag a 4.75 rate. Woo-hoo! If we don't pay this off early, we end up paying about the same amount in interest we would have but now it is spread over 5 more years. But we'll probably pay it off early, hopefully, maybe, well we'll see how much remodeling, college, etc costs.

Anyway, I also just signed up to run the Seattle Rock n Roll Half Marathon. Yes, that's right. I can run, just really slow. I'll be happy to finish with the same time as the last half I did, which was about 2.5 hours. Don't laugh - remember where I said I was SLOW? I'm still hoping a running partner will magically appear. But if not, it should still be fun. Training starts April 5 and I expect to complain a lot.

Also, I heard a remake of Wham's Careless Whisper the other day by Sleether! Now, I had personally never heard of this band (which probably shows how out of touch I am), but Wham! holds a warm fuzzy place in my heart. And now so does Sleether. Hey, check it out, you might like it too.

Earthquake!

Everyone under your desk!

I wonder if that is still what they tell school children. We used to have earthquake drills in elementary school where they would yell "Earthquake, earthquake" over the loudspeaker and you had to get under your desk, face away from the windows and cover your head with their hand.

This morning I woke up to the bed shaking. I thought, maybe it's an earthquake but figured it was most likely my imagination or something strange about coming out of a dream. But no! It was a real earthquake. I used to really want to experience a "big one" but now that I have kids, I have to say I really would just prefer boring, normal life.

In other news, I decided against Lasik and went for contacts. I'm not super big on sticking my finger in my eye, but otherwise it is going ok so far. My optomitrist said we'll probably have to play with the prescription some to find one that will sit on my eye correctly. I have an astigmatism so its tricky, I guess.

Snow predictions and bailouts

Ok, Snow Watch 2008 continues. Here's the latest forcast for the next fews days.

A STRONG WINTER STORM WILL MOVE INTO THE AREA ON FRIDAY. THISSYSTEM WILL LIKELY PRODUCE WIDESPREAD MODERATE TO HEAVY SNOWS NEARTHE CASCADE CREST. VALLEYS IN THE LEE OF THE CREST WILL PROBABLYHAVE A SMALLER CHANCE OF SIGNIFICANT SNOWFALL...BUT THE EXACTTRACK OF THIS STORM IS STILL UNCERTAIN.

I am keeping fingers, toes and anything else I can manage crossed. I'm sure we'll have fun without snow, but I really want to SKI!!!!

In other news, Jeff is obsessed with the auto bailouts. I'm really not sure how I feel about it. In general, I'm a big government girl. But I also feel totally annoyed that the US auto makers have spent so many years fighting any kind of move into the 21st century. They have pushed their giant gas-guzzling vehicles, shipped a lot of jobs overseas, and faught any legislation to move to higher fuel effeciency and new technologies. At the same time, they employ a lot of people who aren't going to have many options if they find themselves out of work. Bah. I think Ford deserves some help. Not so sure about the other two. But one more rant from Jeff and I'm gonna open a can of whoop-ass on him.

Cheesy movies I love

OK, here's my list of favorite cheesy movies. I'll have to add to it over time, because I know I won't be able to remember very many off the top of my head. This is in no particular order.

1. The Sure Thing
2. Love Actually
3. The Way We Were
4. 10 Things I Hate About You
5. Bridget Jones's Diary
6. American Pie
7. The Parent Trap (both versions! If you say anything bad about Hayley Mills, I'll totally kick your ass)
8. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
9. Sixteen Candles
10. Grease
11. Dirty Dancing
12. Pillow Talk
13. The Cutting Edge

Don't look directly at the boobs

We went to see Role Models at work today (yes, I do have the best job ever) which was completely inappropriate but highly entertaining. In the movie, one of the guys gives the advice that you should never look directly at a girl's boobs. Now, you definitely do need to watch the lecherous staring but I think the casual glance is acceptable depending on the circumstances. For example, I spent years perfecting the "look at my boobs" move which involves leaning on a table just the right way to get the proper amount of cleavage. In fact, I've done it so much that I now do it all the time without thinking, although when effective it is still entertaining. However, I tried this move on my husband a few weeks ago at dinner and he just said "are you showing me your cleavage?" Sheesh. I really need to get some new moves. Anyone have any good ones to share with me?

pre-baby jeans

I'm so excited to be wearing pre-Bob jeans. That's right, pants I haven't worn for 4 long years. And yes, they are a wee bit tight in the butt, but otherwise pretty good. I don't even have muffin top. Wahooooo!

Can a girl get some sleep?!

OK, so I know they say you don't get much sleep after kids, but it has been almost 3.5 years and I still can't rely on a good night's sleep. That is all I want in life. To go to bed every night and sleep for 8 straight hours. No interuptions, no crying babies, no toddlers standing next to my head saying, "I want to watch TV" at 3am, no husbands talking in their sleep, no bad dreams, nothing. I want to fall asleep into deep, black, obliviousness and wake up exactly 8 hours later feeling like a human being. Is that so much to ask?

Feeling like Margaret

So, I've realized recently that I actually feel like myself again. I think there is something that happens when you have kids that warps your brain. For the longest time I was Mommy, Wife, and I went to work, but somehow my Margaretness was missing. I'm not really sure where it went but I think since I got pregnant with Bob my personality was taken over by complex hormones. The person I was for 28 years seemed to vanish into the soft, squishy body of a mom who only thinks about healthy meals, milk, and diapers.

The "People I am wondering about" series

aka What the hell happened to you?

I decided I would start a new series called "People I am wondering about" because I often find myself wondering about various people I have known at various times. If you happen to have information on these people or happen to be one of these people, please notify me immediately as I waste an inordinate amount of time on this kind of crap.

So, my first entry will be on Julie. Julie Nichols and I met at Woods Hole where we shared a house one summer in 1995 and ate a lot of oreos, drank, danced, went skinny dipping and generally had a lot of fun. Then Julie went off to Columbia and I was conveniently living in Boston so I would drive down to NYC and party away the weekends. Julie is a super nice, fun, funny girl and I miss her. We somehow drifted apart around the time I started dating Jeff. Sadly, I cannot find her anymore.

This also brings me to another question I have, which is this. Why isn't everyone on facebook, myspace or something? Are you living under a rock?

Why I love Prince

1. He's kinda hot for a short, skinny, sort of effeminate looking dude
2. All his songs are a little naughty (and some are downright smutty)
3. He knows how to shake his ass